Oakley Lucile and Madeline Dorothy

A picture is worth a thousand words. These pictures are worth a million and more to me. I don't know that I've ever had photos speak so strongly to my emotions.

Being the mother to Oakley and Madeline (passed at 23 weeks) certainly couldn't make me biased. I think my dear Oakley is beautiful. I carried her 32 weeks inside me and got to hold her body only in my arms. I didn't hold Madeline as she was not fully developed. Alma the Younger had an incredible, and painful, experience that led him to believe in the joyous power of Christ's Atonement. His words come to me now to describe my experience with the deaths of my daughters.

Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy." (Alma 36:21)

I deeply felt my loss, but had a beautiful experience. Being in the room with Oakley was not the same for me as attending a viewing. Though I knew it was only her body, I felt so much more. My Beloved Heavenly Father must have been allowing me to feel her spirit that was no longer connected to her body. I won't have either of my sweet girls here in this life, but I have felt the glorious feeling of what I will have in the eternal realm.




I loved holding her long fingers, admiring her dark hair that had hints of a lighter blond, laughing at her "baby face fuzz" that made it seem that she had a unibrow, squeezing her soft, delicate feet, and gazing at her face. She was perfect. Madeline, her identical twin sister, would have looked just like her. Two perfect little girls.



I'm thankful for the many organizations that donate time and talents to families that have lost their children in situations like this. Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep has given me a treasure: a million words, a million feelings, forever in these photos. Until I hold them again.